“Sounds like what my granny would say.”
“They just think that way because they’re old and have forgotten what it’s like to be young.”
“Those young people just don’t think about the consequences.”
Have you ever heard someone in your parish make those comments? Or maybe you have had similar thoughts but kept them to yourself. Could it be that even though our fellow parishioners are like-minded in their view of the gospel of Jesus Christ, they lack an understanding of the generational differences and characteristics of those with whom they worship? Could we somehow combine our talents and work together to accomplish our goal of bringing others to Christ?
Recognizable Differences
Where do you fit into the generational map?
TRADITIONALISTS were born between 1900-1945. Many of these are veterans and fought to give us the freedom we have enjoyed over the last century. They lived through the Great Depression and experienced hard times, which gave them a strong work ethic.
Beverly Coll, a member of St. Richard’s Episcopal Church in Winter Park, is a traditionalist. “I love the enthusiasm of the younger generations. I think we all benefit from spending time with them,” she said. “It seems the biggest obstacle to all generations connecting is personal hesitancy that others won’t accept us as we are. For instance, I have had white hair for a long time, and that automatically put me in the category of ‘old,’ even though in the beginning I wasn’t.”
Spending time with those of other generations and getting to know them is the easiest way to overcome the obstacle of acceptance. Who we are on the inside has nothing to do with how old others perceive us to be by looking on the outside.
BABY BOOMERS are those born during 1946-1964, also referred to as the “me” generation. These are postwar babies who were promised the American dream. Therefore, they are ambitious but also occasionally thought of as materialistic. Baby boomers have the highest divorce rate and rate of second marriages of any generation.
GENERATION XERS were born 1965-1980. This generation lived through Watergate, the energy crisis, dual-income families and single parenting. Growing up, they had to take care of themselves, so their thoughts often center on finding “what’s best for me.”
Kirsten Knox, senior director of ministry partnerships for Youth Ministry Institute said, “I am in Generation X and have spent the last 20 years serving in youth ministry. Young people are idealistic and believe change is possible. This is helpful when you are trying to accomplish a seemingly impossible task, such as unity.”
MILLENIALS, also known as Generation Y, represent the generation of digital media. These adults were born 1981-1996 and have lived through school shootings, terrorist attacks and 9/11. Millennials grew up as the sheltered generation whose parents tried to protect them from the evils of the world. This was the first generation of children to have schedules that rivaled those of their parents.
GENERATION Z is sometimes called the post-millennial generation, born from 1997 until the present. They are the first generation in many years to experience a pandemic and have had to put their lives on hold until it is under control.
Knox says of this generation, “Gen Z sees the value in unity and coming together for a common purpose, in spite of individual differences. They have experienced, by and large, a lack of unity in the world they have grown up in. This fuels their desire for unity. Gen Z has grown up in this technology world; therefore, most of their interpersonal skills have developed by communicating through a screen. They long for real connection and authentic relationships, and yet they lack the experience of building such skills through face-to-face conversation.”
Most get-to-know-you events begin with conversations. So how hard is it to create an event to bring the generations together without words being the main factor? Even if that event is a Sunday church service, how can the generations communicate with one another in a manner that lets them know they are loved?
Mutual Respect
The prophet Joel saw these generational differences coming. “Then afterward I will pour out my spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions” (Joel 2:28).
Each generation has its own goals and ways to communicate.
We often overlook the fact that an older generation has much to offer the younger ones. They have lived through many different eras and have had experiences that can benefit others. Cross-generational mentoring can be a tremendous way for those of current and recent generations to learn.
“It is a matter of respect,” Joshua Joseph, director of Camp Wingman, said. “If each generation would respect the other and look beyond their differences to the common goals they have, the world would be a better place.”
“I think it is up to the leadership of the church to help older and younger generations come together,” Joseph said. He went on to tell the story of Alan. “Alan was a General Motors general manager in our area. Now he is retired and in his 70s. One day I asked Alan if he would like to help with our youth group. He agreed to come and give it a try. Alan didn’t stand up in front of the group and teach, but he built relationships with the youth that have lasted decades. His presence said to our youth that he cared, was interested in them and would love to be their friend. Rarely did one of the youth come into the group meeting without giving Alan a hug. He mentored hundreds of youth just by being there.”
God told Samuel what was most important. He said, “For the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7).
If we connect to other generations through our common bond of love for God, we will see those we work with through God’s eyes in a way that transcends age or generation.
This Central Florida Episcopalian article by Linda Gilden won second place in the Selah Awards at the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference on June 2, 2021. It was originally printed in the September/October Central Florida Episcopalian in 2020.