“Your eye is the lamp of your body. If your eye is healthy, your whole body also is full of light; but if it is not healthy, your body is full of darkness” (Luke 11:34).

It has been a long time since I have written about Alex. We haven’t had much contact with him the last few months.

Alex is a complex person who relates to people differently from the rest of the children. He is by no means a conversationalist. It is usually difficult to engage him in an activity. In fact, he hardly wants to do anything with us. At the same time, he wants to be close to us. Sometimes he won’t even acknowledge our presence, but he notices when we are not around. On top of this, he has some learning disabilities. It takes him awhile to process what is said to him, and his constant abuse of paint thinner makes communication almost impossible. So it is rare that we have any talks with Alex.

Since we first met him, there have been perhaps three occasions when we had meaningful contact with him. But this day was different. He came to us announcing  his birthday was approaching and that he wanted to go to the zoological gardens. He visited the zoo last year with another group, but he wanted to return with us.

We were honest with him. It wasn’t going to happen. It was too complicated for us to take three forms of public transportation with him to go the zoo. I’m not sure if he was willing to do this, either. The group he went with last time had a car. Then again, I’m not sure if it was really the trip to the zoo he was after. An important aspect of our relationship with the children is interpreting their requests. I believe all this conversation about the zoo was only an excuse to talk with us. Alex has a hard time connecting with people, and I think his imminent birthday became a convenient way to do so.

After his animated announcement, Alex returned to his usual taciturn self. He sat next to us and was quiet. We sat with him for a half-hour in silence. Initially, we tried making small talk, but it was too complicated. His thinner-infused mind was not registering anything we said. He stared blankly at us for a few seconds and gave us unrelated answers. Silence was the best option for everyone concerned.

It is our practice to alternate between waiting at the steps of the cathedral and looking for the children at their regular haunts. Since nothing was happening with Alex, and it seemed as though he wanted to be alone, we got ready to do our rounds. Alex looked up and asked why we were leaving. We explained that we were going to see if we could get the rest of the children to come to the steps. He told us there was no one around today. We understood what he was saying. He wanted us to stay there with him. He put away his thinner and started talking about horses. I know it sounds random, but this is Alex. The thoughts flow through his mind in some logical sequence that is foreign to most of us. We are learning to go with the flow and listen to his stories.

In a way, I am beginning to understand his logic. He had been thinking about his birthday, and that must have awakened in him a desire to talk about things that made him happy. During his silence, he may have been trying to decide which happy story to tell us. The story of the horse came at last. It was one of his most pleasant moments, and it occurred in a state orphanage. He was given a chance to ride a horse at a small farm. After the horse story, he started talking about his childhood, which led to the tragic story of his mother’s passing.

Alex was placed in the orphanage on a couple of occasions. The first time happened because of neglect, but it was much more complex than this. Alex was very sick at home, and his mother went to get some medication. Unfortunately, she was sick as well and fainted in the streets. She was taken to the hospital, but they did not know how to get in touch with her family. This usually means that they lived in a makeshift shack without a telephone or even a proper address. Because the children were left by themselves and Alex’s health was deteriorating, a neighbor called the police.

All the children then ended up in the state orphanage until their mother could prove that she was capable of taking care of them. She must have tried to do as well as she could, but she had very limited resources. Finally, she and her children were forced to move in with her mother (the children’s grandmother). The five children and mother were crammed into a tiny room. There was a common bathroom, which they shared with drug dealers and addicts. Alex’s mother became sick again, and she fainted for the last time. Alex sat next to her as she was dying, and the ambulance arrived after her corpse was cold. This is his most vivid memory of her. He told us this story several times. It is one of his most treasured memories.

It didn’t take long for Alex and his brother, Alan, to run away to Center. The street where their grandmother lived is one of the most dangerous areas in the Center. In Alex’s case, being homeless was safer than being at home. It is the same street where some of the other boys like Ruan lived.

We wonder if the lack of space and unintentional neglect have affected Alex in the way he interacts with people. However, he shared all this with eyes wide open, smiling occasionally when he shared something funny. He transformed before our eyes from a closed-up little boy into a lively, animated teenager. It was great to see this metamorphosis.

The next day, Alex saw us at the steps and ran up to us. He placed his bag beside us and sat down by himself for a few minutes. Nothing unusual here. At that moment, a homeless man sitting not too far from us was being sick. Alex was the first to notice and asked us if we could do something. We have seen this scene many times before and knew enough to tell him the problem was that the man had had too much to drink. We assured Alex that he would be fine. However, seeing the man’s discomfort bothered him, so Alex approached him and asked if he was OK. Completely out of it, the man could not respond appropriately. Alex took a bottle of water out of his old, worn-out backpack, gave it to the man, and then proceeded to pat him on the back and ask him to drink some water. He stayed with the man until he felt better.

Next, Alex walked back to where we were, sat down, and went back to being quiet and withdrawn. Mary tried to get Alex’s attention and told him that he had a good heart. He did not say anything, and I’m not sure if he understood what she meant. He just sat quietly for a while and then started talking about different things that had happened to him that day. None of it followed a coherent sequence, but we were able to understand him.

I have been taking the Bible to the streets recently. The children and teens know that I am a priest, and they often ask questions about faith and God. One day, I took the Bible out and before I could do anything with it, Alex started yelling my name. He wanted to see the Bible. He flipped through the pages randomly. He was looking for the word “John.” He is illiterate but recognizes some words. I asked him if he was looking for something specific. He wanted me to read the story of the Annunciation, so I read from the Gospel of Luke. He listened intently and then said that he did not understand anything. He wanted me to explain. He wanted to know how God came into the womb of Mary. We talked about the Holy Spirit and how with God all things are possible. His face lit up with a smile. He said that he liked this part of the gospel, when God became man to be among us. His face lit with his characteristic smile, revealing a chipped tooth, and afterward, he laid down his head to sleep. But not before asking me if I could read him another story from the Bible the next day.

There are two episodes from the Gospels that Alex finds special: the Incarnation and the Passion of Christ. Of course, I would never use these words when speaking to him. He uses simpler and perhaps more profound phrases to describe them: God walking among us and God suffering with us. Incidentally, I found that the children and teens find it hard to relate to the Resurrection. It is not that they don’t believe it, but they don’t understand its relevance to their reality. Maybe this could be our contribution: the Resurrection means new beginning. The children take comfort and strength in God’s presence in their daily lives and sufferings, but they cannot imagine a new beginning for themselves. Through us, they may be able to discover the words to describe this new reality.

We use few words in our relationship with Alex, and our conversations are sporadic and disjointed. Sometimes we feel we are not getting through to him, and this might be true. However, God has placed him in our lives. He is now part of our existence. In our storage of happy memories, our conversations with Alex are among them, despite the fact that sometimes we feel a little helpless and useless.

But something is happening. It gives great comfort to know that God did not call us to save Alex. This is beyond our capacity. Our Lord did not call us to save people. Instead, he opens our eyes to see his Holy Spirit working in the hearts and minds of children and teens. Superficially speaking, Alex is not a friendly boy. It does not mean that he is hostile or bitter. He is neither of these. He is a complex young man, and yet we can see the Holy Spirit working in his life. He is extra sensitive to the suffering of others. Most likely, he is conscious of goodness that surrounds him and responds to these things in different ways. Our task is to testify the workings of the Holy Spirit in his life. But not just in Alex’s life; there are other children and teens who are moved by the Holy Spirit to do acts of compassion. The world passes by them and sees only a depressing situation or person. But God sends us into the world to proclaim and testify that the power of his love shines even when there is utter darkness. The gates of hell cannot prevail against the light of the gospel.

Alex has every reason to be bitter and angry. He did not ask to be born into the situation in which he found himself. However, when we spent these few days with him in silence, we did not see a hateful, closed person, but a young boy open to doing acts of love and compassion whenever the Holy Spirit prompted him. It is amazing to see that despite all the difficulty and injustice he has suffered, Alex continues to nurture a kind and loving heart.

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