I see my church as a big family. I love talking to everyone, getting people involved with each other or in different church activities, and just knowing that I have people who truly care about me. Like most families, we have our trials and tribulations, but we always get through them.
When I was 15 years old, I started volunteering in our church’s Sunday school classes. My first assignment was being the teacher’s helper at the Godly Play program for preschoolers.
A few years later, I joined a group of young adults, ages 17 to 21, who would take the kids to the cafeteria and keep them there for a while during the worship service. We would give them a little snack, often doughnuts from the morning with some juice. Sometimes we cut the doughnuts into halves or fourths because we had so many kids. After the snack, we would play games, sing songs, and teach a short lesson. We had lots of fun teaching and singing with the children, performing skits for Christmas, and singing carols in the service for the parents.
Usually, the time we spent with the kids was amazing, but there were some parents who thought the young adults weren’t ready to handle such a responsibility. I had just turned 18 and was asked to teach a class along with my friend, another 18-year-old girl. Although arrangements had been made to have a parent present during the class, one parent was especially upset that church leaders were letting two teen girls teach a class. The two of us were surprised and hurt. It reached the point that I felt uncomfortable teaching the kids, and our priest decided that, to avoid further issues, it would be best if the young adults stopped taking the kids out for classes during the services.
I wish I could say the situation improved, that we sat down and talked about it like mature people, but we didn’t. During this time, our priest left to take care of some family responsibilities in his home country, and the church members were like sheep trying to find a shepherd. Some people left the church because we didn’t have a regular priest, and others didn’t know what to do without clergy leadership.
This was a very tough time in my life. I felt as though some adults, instead of encouraging me to do better, were trying to stop me from helping the church. The feelings of anger and disbelief over the lack of support remained in the back of my mind, but I decided not to let them overcome my self-esteem. I kept teaching the kids. In other words, I chose to act out of kindness.
During this time, my parish was trying to find a priest to serve us. When our current priest arrived, the church was divided, and, for various reasons, people wouldn’t talk to one another about the problems. I never asked why, but you could see it. However, our new priest kept trying to instill in us that we were a family, that all of us were one body in Christ. He reminded us that we should love our neighbors and that the only way to rise from our current position was to work as a team.
Slowly, people started coming together and apologizing to one another. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time as well as lots of prayer and meditation.
Fast forward to 2016
Today, I’m teaching the Sunday children’s service. I learned from this earlier event that sometimes, it’s best just to let things work out by themselves. If you know you’re doing something good, don’t give up. Someone may always look down on you because of your age, ethnicity, gender, or background. You’ll be surprised how many people want to see you fail. It’s all a normal part of life.
Everyone has a battle to fight, and sometimes they take out their frustrations on people without meaning to. In the end, when you hold a grudge against someone, it affects you more than it does them. Keep killing them with kindness and show them what unconditional love looks like.
Looking back, I wish that at the time, a church leader would have stepped up and tried to help the youth fight for the right to keep teaching. I always hear that “the youth is the future of the church,” but how can we expect young people to become leaders if we don’t give them opportunities to grow and to showcase their abilities? I understand that our church was struggling at the time, which made it difficult for this to occur, but even one adult leader taking a stand on our behalf would have encouraged me.
In this situation, it worked out for me to be quiet and persevere. But sometimes, you have to speak up and try to talk to the person who has a problem with you. Younger people in particular may feel as though a certain goal is impossible to achieve. But remember the words of the apostle Paul: “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but be an example for other believers in your speech, behavior, love, faithfulness, and purity” (1 Timothy 4:12 ISV).
Reprinted from ECF Vital Practices, www.ecfvp.org. Original article part of the Vestry Papers issue on Conflict (March 2016).
Liz Luna, 23, attends St. Peter’s/San Pedro Episcopal Church in Pasadena, Texas. She leads the Children’s Chapel Ministries and is a Youth Minister. She volunteers every first and third Saturday of the month at the church’s food pantry. Outside of church, she works full time and spends her free time with family and friends.